1 – You broke up, you changed your mind, but he’s already dating another woman…what do you do?
We were together for full eight months, it was amazing, towards the end I started acting like a bitch, like you call it – “the Amazon woman”…(I read your entire book, I am telling you Sharoney, it’s simply written about me!) and then he left. I thought I was actually
okay with it but after two and a half months I started missing
him and decided I want him back.
We started talking over the phone and it turned out he started dating another woman. After a few calls I opened up and told him
I wanted us to get back together, that I love him and that I’m sorry for everything.
He said that he didn’t know what he wanted but he loved me dearly…
basically, he said the same things that I did, but somehow left things hanging.
I thought to myself that he must have been be a bit surprised with me and everything..
so I tried not to think about the other woman in his life and to get comfort in the fact that
he said that he loves me very much.
A few days later we talked (he called) and once again he said that he still has
strong feelings for me, Nevertheless, he didn’t mention a breakup
from the woman he was seeing in the past two months. I want him back, what do I do?
Things are usually more complicated than what you
described but still we can learn quite a lot from what you’ve written.
So you mentioned you were acting like an Amazon woman.
If you’re saying that you were acting “manly” then I guess you
know what you’re talking about.
I talk about this kind of behavior a lot in My Passion Seminar.
I speak about the importance of women connecting to their feminine side,
to their inner princess and thus we can make the man we choose
and have chosen us
fall in love with us,get addicted to us, every day all over again.
Yes, it’s an art – to be a princess, and the reward… yes, the reward is amazing.
So yes, you were right by blaming THAT as the main reason
for your current situation. Let’s move on.
You say that he’s dating another woman.
Let’s get something straight about that.
If he was really interested in you he would have dumped her
the second he realized he had a shot to get back with you
or at least cut their dates in half. or maybe, at least, he would have told her
that he wanted to take a short break to figure things out for himself.
In other words, if he had wanted you back
he would have checked for options on the first call,
he would have offered to meet, and then,
by the next phone call there she would not
be in the picture at all.
When men want something they put ALL their energies in it. Men are masters at focusing and setting agendas when they
are interested in something.
If they’re not, you’ll be hearing a lot of things like:
“I don’t know what I want…”, “I’m confused.”
And others like that.
Which means in his words: “you’re not my current agenda,
But I’m okay with keeping you in my margins,
because it doesn’t just compliment my ego it is also comfortable for me to know
that I have a backup plan.(that is you!)”
Do you get that?!
So here’s what you have to do:
First, stop calling him.
If he initiates contact with you and you
still want to talk to him – do talk to him.
But don’t let him talk about his feelings for you,
don’t let him lead you away with words that aren’t backed up.
Stop him if he does. Tell him: “as long as you’re with her,
don’t talk to me about love.”
Keep the conversation nice and cool.
friendly at best.
Don’t let him flirt with you,
don’t let him verbally court you.
be polite but a bit cold and indifference.
And another important tip – don’t do “reasonable mistakes.”
Don’t try to act “reasonably”, because that never works.
If you tell yourself things like:
“I’ll tell him I want him so he’ll know that he can leave her…”
you’re making a mistake.
“I’ll talk to him twice a day on the phone
to show him that I’m serious.”
you’re making a mistake.
“If he asks me if I’m going out with someone I’ll tell him ‘hell, no!’
so that he’ll know I’m serious and waiting for
him to make the right choice.”
You’re making a mistake again.
Those are “reasonable” thoughts that don’t work with
men and women attraction.
Don’t do “reasonable mistakes.”
On the personal level, I recommend you go on a vacation,
take up a drawing course, scuba diving,
dancing or anything new that will keep you busy.
I know most of your friends will tell you to date others,
I’m not telling you to do that because your mind
(and heart) just won’t be there.
Keep yourself busy so you can make some time to
the next most important thing you need to do.
what is the next most important thing for you to do?
Fall in love with yourself all over again.
And why would you want to do that?
As far as energy,
a woman who is in love with herself
immediately becomes more attractive,
you’ll also become more attractive to him.
When you fall in love with yourself all over again
your self-value will increase and you can be clearer
with yourself about the kind of man you want in your life
and what exactly do you want with him.
Reconnect with your inner princess
and you’ll be surprised with the results.